Kimmi is More Than Just a Strong Name
Just let me say that I feel so grateful to share my passion and build this program with Kimmi. We are two like-minded people who value emotions as superpowers. I respect her strength, intelligence, vulnerability, and integrity.
But all that doesn’t guarantee a great partnership. What does is how you’re able to work through your differences and listen to each other without triggering. And if you feel safe enough to express your truth, your ‘true north’ as I like to call it.
Several months into our working relationship, on our way to Boston to experience BAM, I said something like, “Kim, what is your goal for our meeting with BAM?”
Kim, direct as always, said exactly this, “Paul, I prefer if you call me Kimmi. Is there a reason you call me Kim?”
I told her I noticed most of her friends called her Kimmi and even her email address has “Kimmi” in it. But I called her “Kim” because it sounds stronger to me. I like mono-syllabic names because they connote strength. That’s why my wife and I named our kids Max and Kate.
“Well, Kimmi sounds strong to me and I think you’ll start calling me Kimmi if you understand what it means to me.”
She then explained how as a young girl she was bold and brash and her parents called her Kimmi. Sometime during her early teens she started to go by Kim and, at about the same time, she lost her attitude and sass. Dr. Carol Gilligan documents this phenomenon of adolescent girls experiencing a crisis of confidence and losing their self-esteem.
Fast forward after college and we find Kim competing in The Moth StorySLAM and, on a lark, she entered under the name “Kimmi.” And guess what…she felt totally in her power on stage and she won. All of these memories of a kickass, confident child washed over her. She felt re-connected to that sassy and powerful Kimmi. She reclaimed that lost part of her. From that day forward she’s called herself “Kimmi” and now she was requesting that I do the same.
After hearing THAT story, how could I call her anything but “Kimmi”?
But there’s more. Our conversation put me in touch with my strength bias. I prioritized strength above other characteristics. I didn’t like the name “Kimmi” because it felt soft and juvenile. All of a sudden, because of this conversation, my perception of the name and person changed. From that moment I was no longer fixated on strength. I started to see the complete Kimmi in all of her soft, sassy, strong, vulnerable glory.
Kimmi, thank you for sharing your true north. It helped me re-align mine.