BAM (Becoming a Man)
Makeeba McCreary was an obvious person to reach out to about Build Up Boys.
We met in 1990 at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She moved back to Boston and received a BA from UMASS Boston graduating Magna Cum Laude; I moved back home with my parents in Westchester and ended up with a BA in Social Science in the Arts from SUNY Purchase. We remained friends. After Makeeba got her Masters in Adolescent Risk and Prevention from Harvard Graduate School of Education, she stayed with me in my small studio on the Upper West Side of Manhattan to get her Doctorate in Educational Administration and Organizational Leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. All to say, Makeeba is badass and the person you want to speak with about education.
When I told Makeeba about what Paul and I were doing, she introduced us to a program close to her heart: BAM (Becoming a Man). Launched in Chicago in 2001, BAM set out to help young men navigate difficult circumstances that threaten their future. Now in its 19th year, the BAM program serves more than 8,000 youth in 140 schools. Makeeba played an important role in bringing BAM to Boston and now serves on the BAM Boston Advisory Council. As the Chief of Learning and Community Engagement at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, she created a partnership between MFA and BAM, so that four Boston teens from the BAM program can curate an exhibition featuring Modern art by American artists of color.
On November 26th, 2019, Paul and I visited John D. O’Bryant School of Mathematics & Science and joined a BAM circle. We were given the following information/directives beforehand:
Participating in a Circle: Today you will be joining a “Circle” of BAM scholars. Through our weekly group counseling sessions, which are based on principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and character education, BAM focuses on the development of internal and external protective factors, giving scholars the skills they need to persist in school and beyond. Circles are safe spaces for scholars to heal, discover their strengths, and build healthy supportive communities. We are grateful to welcome you into this safe and brave space, and our scholars are excited to include you in their Circle.
Some suggestions to be an active, supportive participant when you join your Circle:
Prepare Yourself. You play a key role in helping our students thrive in Circles. Think about and process your feelings around today’s topic. Know your triggers and have a plan to utilize your coping skills. Be understanding of yourself and what you need in to be fully present.
Watch Your Mic Time. The 2:1 Rule: for every 1 time that an adult shares-out, allow scholars to share-out two times.
Help Create a Safe & Brave Space. Safe space is defined as an environment in which a person can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment or any other emotional or physical harm. Brave Space is defined as an environment in which everyone can come together to have hard conversations and hear each other out especially when it is challenging. We create these spaces for our scholars with our language and our actions. Choose words that allow for diversity of thought and development of future growth.
It was truly one of the most heartening experiences of my life. Being let into something so sacred, witnessing teenaged boys share themselves with such openness and respect, was more than powerful, more than inspiring, it was life giving.
We were able to ask the director questions afterwards.
I asked, “Has there been any pushback from fathers?”
“There are no fathers.”
This really made me stop and check my assumptions about boys and men and the varying needs in different communities. Up until that moment, I had really only had contact with white, middle class, heteronormative mothers and fathers.
It was going to be important to factor race and class into the Build Up Boys programming.
